Dear Bloggies,

Welcoming my 26th, I was reminded of the two surah that I have always held since 3 years ago, surah Al-Insyirah dan Az-Zumar.

فَإِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا 

“Karena sesungguhnya sesudah kesulitan itu ada kemudahan.” (QS. Al-Insyirah: 5)

إِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا

“Sesungguhnya sesudah kesulitan itu ada kemudahan.” (QS. Al-Insyirah: 6).  

Surah that always remind me that when we have one problem, we have many sources of ease spontaneously. But, sometimes we focus on that one problem and don't mention all the blessings Allah has given. Sometimes what is better for us, good for us, is not always easy but remember, Allah promised that there will be ease after hard time we've been through. Maybe not they way we wanted and planned but just how they're supposed to, the best one for us from Allah.

Well, yeah...di tahun-tahun terberat itu, saya bisa membuktikan bahwa benar adanya janji Allah yang tertulis itu dengan cara terbaik menurut Nya untuk saya. Saya bisa bertahan sampai di penghujung tahun itu karena izin Allah pula. Mungkin secara fisik tidak terlalu kentara, secara psikis? jelas berantakan sekali. Saya pikir, ujian itu akan berhenti di tahun itu, sayang nya tidak. Saya bersyukur sekali, ketika saya mendapat ujian, saya dikelilingi oleh orang-orang baik. There are so many shapes of blessing from Allah, and one of them, the one that I got is surrounded with good people at work also everywhere I go.

I already wrote an open letter to my future me last year, for this time I want to do it differently. I will write my daily gratitude list on my journal, to remind me that there are lots of in life that can be grateful for. Last night, when I made this journal, I opened my favorite book titled La Tahzan Innallaha Ma'ana. This book somehow told me to never look back on your most bitter past, never worried about what comes next in the future. Today is your day, and always do the best for today as if this is the last day of your life, quite a beautiful message isn't it?

My reality feels like bittersweet roller-coaster life, and there are really hard times I couldn't imagine. Tapi ternyata Allah selalu adil…Allah tidak pernah memberi ujian yang tidak bisa saya atasi, dan saya sangat bersyukur tentang itu

Ah, iya…saya juga baru saja mendapatkan pelajaran satu lagi dari sebuah film yang bikin saya nangis (tapi berusaha saya tahan karena takut dikatain cengeng hahaha). 

Oh iya, kenapa penulisan peringatan ulang tahun saya mundur teramat sangat lama, karena saya jatuh sakit tipes tepat sehari sebelum ulang tahun. Semesta tahu bagaimana caranya memberikan firasat atau pertanda J. Saya sakit selama 1 minggu lebih, dan harus istirahat total di rumah karena badan saya rasanya nyeri dan sakit. Masa pemulihan dan tumpukan pekerjaan yang sudah saya tinggal selama satu minggu ‘berteriak minta jatah’ untuk diperhatikan, hahaha.

I appreciate everything that happened in my life. I do believe that what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger. Even deep down inside, I have my biggest fear, and maybe soon enough….I must decide, maybe it will be my grand decision I made in my life. Apapun yang terjadi, dan segala konsekuensi nya, semoga saya siap menghadapi itu…ya, semoga.

Selamat ulang tahun ke-26, umurmu di dunia sudah berkurang lagi.